Sorry guys it been (heck) on me the last 4-5 months.. I been super stressed, depressed, and struggling in many ways.
I have lost Leeloo about 1st week of September, she was just loosing weight and i was helping her to the food bowl each night. It broke my heart to have to help her over the Bridge.
I been missing my wife to no end, I am struggling to hold my self together most days and the pushing to care for the gliders, earn my shelter by doing some cleaning that I can get done, and some light 3d printer(trying to stretch my limited supplies ) about all that holding me together mentally. I have only 2-3 people to talk to right now Feather and her roommate when they are up to hearing me whine, my mother and one semi friend that on the West coast.
On top of it all I found out my cousin son passed away at 2 years old ( I don't want to go in to details) and realizing that another event I won't be able to help them with.
I want to talk to my wife so much it eating me alive I want to say so many thing apologize for the lack or saying things that come out wrong or taken the wrong way.

I been trying to keep from burdening where i am staying, trying not to burden my friends and family as i struggle. I can't really find work i can do anymore ( last year at Walmart I was pushing myself to much every day and Crystal come to think i was becoming lazy and leeching off her). I have not and trying to not to rely on pain pills to do anything, and the lack of quality sleep, limited sleep I have been able to get has screwed up my routine even more.I lucky if i can sleep more than 4 hours at a time. and then that interrupted with tossing and turning, leg/back pain, leg spasm and or whe nI get up I can't really move well cause in such pain and discomfort I can barely walk from the bedroom to the bathroom without falling.

Hang in there, passing if time will make it better.

You're doing better than I am staying in touch on here. A lot has happened, and our life has been very busy.

to you and all your babies!