Hey all!

Almost everyone here has experienced a glider grooming them. And pretty much everyone of those people have experienced when that grooming got over aggressive, and became gnawing--possibly even drawing blood.

When they are grooming each other, what are they doing? They are removing dead skin, dander, foreign objects from the fur, infected follicles, dirt, etc. And then smoothing it all down nice and sleek looking. Gliders like to be clean, and well groomed. And they want you to be too.

I envision a Vietnam war movie, with the classic scene (repeated in several films) of the evil Prison Camp Commandant torturing one of his prisoners. It's the scene where they put a bag of rats over a guys head, and they (the rats) eat his face off.

"American Dog! Bring out the bag of rats!"
"Uh...sir. We are right out of rats."
"What?"
"We are right out of rats. All we have left is this bag of Sugar Gliders."
"Ok...whatever."
They put the bag over the guys head. The bag starts to wiggle and the guy starts to scream. Then the screams start changing to giggling and baby talk...
The perplexed V.C. Commandant pulls the bag off the prisoner's head...
...and he looks like a glamour shot. Perfect hair...perfect shave. He smiles for the camera, and a glint of light shines off his perfect teeth. (Ding!)

We wish.

They will groom...and they will gnaw. At problems REAL or IMAGINED.
We pull them off quickly, give them a correction and then maybe put them back into the cage.

But how far would they chew if you didn't stop them?

To answer that question, we got an oak roll top desk and dropped it off the back of a truck, onto my leg.

Ok...it wasn't deliberate. But it did a lot of damage.
(Referencing Thread "The Morning Report")
The desk broke into three pieces. Can't believe it didn't break the leg.

What it DID do though, was to create a blunt-force trauma down the inside of the shin bone, from just below the knee to just above the ankle.
It hurt a LOT...but not for long--the mass swelling of the area quickly made it drum tight and totally numb.

It wasn't getting better either. The swelling was so bad that even two weeks later not much had changed.
The blood pooling and bruising was down to the instep of my foot. A section of skin in the middle of the impact area had turned a necrotic gray.

There are no doctors out here in this rattlesnake infested poop-hole (At least none that take Medicaid from Colorado.), so whatever I was going to do, I was going to have to do it myself.

Sleeping with it elevated helped.

Woke up...to see Justin (I think it was Justin) sitting on my leg...chewing a hole in it. I couldn't feel it. He had chewed off a section of the dead skin...and was boring his way down.
My initial reaction was 'AHHHHHG!'
Once I composed myself, I told them they could have the meat-suit after I was done with it--and not a moment sooner.

With my vast library of medical knowlege (Obtained from watching such great medical dramas as Rocky, and Apocalypto--as well as some good you tube vids, I decided it was time for medical action. I'm not a doctor, but I did impersonate one on a cruise ship once. Good enough.
Exact-o knife from Michael's will do.
Stabbed into it in 3 places around the epicenter.
And the 4th went in sideways--try and open the swelling from the bottom.
Not a tough guy thing. Totally numb. Was nervous about how much it would hurt. Glad it didn't

Result: Lots of blood. Excised about 2 shot glasses of deep black blood. Was a little disappointed though. For the size and the pressure--I felt it should have been more--gushery.
But the swelling dropped significantly and over the next few days it was looking better.

But then it started going backwards again.

I must not have hit the main bursa...or it would have kept draining, and this swelling would be gone.

It had been so swollen for so long, that I was starting to really worry about the possibility of sepsis. All that fluid packed in there and no circulation. This stupid desk accident was gonna cost me my leg? Or worse?

Went to bed with the resolution to take the knife to it again in the morning.

Didn't make it 'til morning, though.

Stirred a few times in the night...shooing Justin off me. Grr...why was he so all over me tonight?

Woke up at 4am-ish...thinking Chelsea had peed the bed. (She has some minor incontinence problems.) But it was...sticky.

Lights.
OMG.

Justin had chewed through.

He put a hole about the size of a grain of rice--right down through the epicenter.

The resultant bleed off...Well...had to take a shower and throw the sheets away.

As I was trying to clean it, my disturbing it resulted in a jet of watered down blood that spurted out three feet.

This was about 48 hours ago. There was a lot of crap in there.

With circulation restored and the wound continuously draining, the swelling is all but gone--and things are healing fast. Everything is the right color and temp. Minimal pain. I should be back to digging in a couple days.

I know this post is probably overly long and underly funny, but this was pretty wild--I just had to report it. How far will they go, if they start gnawing? Apparently all the way.

As a member of the colony, Justin saw one of his people had a cyst. And what do you do with a cyst? You drain it. He could tell I had an injury and he moved to treat it.
That was Amazing and Horrible all at once!
Thank you, Justin!
(Do it again and I will make tiny mittens out of you.)

Twodog - I read your post while eating breakfast, eggs with runny yolks. Not so hungry now....
When Justin is gnawing near your brain, what abnormality is he trying to remove? Something to ponder while you're wandering around in the snake infested, cactus ridden, wants-to-kill-you desert.

All right ComradeFluffyPants, I am all ready to go full Gibbs on you..................

You need a good slap to the back of the head, the women have already told you that you needed to go to the doctor, but did you? Nooooooooooooo!

Your lucky that little varmint didn't take your leg off just below the knee!

Men!!!

First of all, your scene from the Vietnam war movie was hilarious. Second, OMG!!! You switched genres from action to horror!

So your leg is feeling better after Doctor Justin chewed a whole in it? I've been looking into insurance options for full time RVers, but apparently I won't need insurance since I'll have a qualified medical team living with me...

Full Gibbs?
Like giblets? Meat-splosion? Like when you set off the Flak Cannon right in someone's face in Unreal Tournament?

My Language. :-)

Justin solved it. He wasn't around when I woke up. Once he hit the mother lode he must have decided his job was done. Or maybe he just ducked out of sight when I woke up and started grabbin' at it. Either way, he wasn't going to make off with the leg. I am glad he was persistent. I had tried to shoo him off several times.

(Now Arrow, with his enhancements, Kung-fu skills, and tiny mono-filament power swords: that's another story.)

It just needed to be bled out. Common, simple procedure, that I managed to botch--but thankfully his little nose could tell right where the weak spot was.
I used almost my whole supply of rubbing alcohol too, while working with this thing. On the wound, the tools, the hands, the affected area--even splashed it on like after shave. (not recommended)
Sterile sterile sterile...

Total out of pocket: $3.48 for the exact-o knife.

And I won't lie to you, it feels good to know I can do the cutting if I need to. Was pretty nervous about it. This new life is going to require such things--as there will rarely be medical facilities around. Next I need to learn to stitch up a wound. I hear oranges are good to practice on--and yummy when you are done.

Had Justin not opened it up, and if my next attempt to open it had failed, I was planning on getting to the Urgent Care.

It's practically all better already.
Not even numb anymore. Man...that constant swelling pressure was bad. I almost (ALMOST) wanted to cry when it let off.

Not even numb anymore...OOWWWWW! $#%^&^ing $#$%&*er Sonofa%^*^^$! Someone stabbed a bunch of holes in my leg!

We never appreciate feeling good until we don't.

I think I am going to add that to my morning routine:

"Take a moment to feel your body, and be thankful for your health."

You guys are great. Your concern in this is much appreciated. And maybe I have been poking the bear some. ;-)

Just slap on the flat spot where everyone else slaps.

/hugs

Happy Glider-ing all1

You should sue yourself for mal-practice & report it to the board so you never try such a procedure untrained again.

Really? I do that a lot, myself.

Save it for immediate, life-threatening emergencies. Otherwise, seek professionals. There are smaller practices that often cost less than a hospital would charge (also free clinics in many communities for those without financial means) that may have been able to help you.

Pigs feat work better, that's what most med techs are told to practice on. Wait, why am I helping you with this!?!?

*face-palm*

Totally earned it.

Take a moment to reflect on the fact you must care for that body as well to maintain that health. Look dude, the ERs of hospitals I've worked in receive cases of 'self-care' all the time. ALL THE TIME. Seriously, I would hate for anyone I know to end up like me: in moderate+ levels of constant pain for the rest of your life. (Not self-inflicted, but that would be an even worse reason for it.) Also, I've seen people lose limbs over lesser injuries.

Just maybe?? I'll aim carefully should we ever meet.

NCO-attitude aside, I mean all of this with affection because I'd hate to miss out on your humorous outlook on things. No fooling, man, I was concerned for you, whether you consider it legit or not. I've been in positions where I've had to review 'incidents' like this that have ended in tragedy. Too many.

Besides, I still need you to update your will bequeathing your gliders to me.

PS: It's not very gentlemanly to worry the women-folk. You know how frail their constitution is. You'll have them all a-flutter if you keep this up. Then they get their vengeance three-fold

Well the urgent care and the local clinic refused to treat me. No insurance.
The emergency room did though.
Woke up this morning with the beginnings of a fever, and body aches and chills. And it hurt like $^#^#&^% and it was swelling up again. Can hardly touch it to the ground or articulate the ankle.
That was my red line.

ER--Big IV session of antibiotics. Drew a gallon of blood, and then wrote me a scrip for some happy pills and big antibiotics. Test results are coming back tomorrow to see what the next step is.

And I am sorry guys, I stand by the way I have handled this. No insurance and no money means you have to do things yourself. To the very limit of your ability.
When I run out of that I seek help.
And I did that.
I'm sorry if I offended--it really wasn't my intent.
I thought it important to post that a Sugar Glider would aggressively lance a wound on a colony member...even if that member is human.
It's important to note that I didn't try and make him do that. Actually I spent a couple nights trying to keep him from doing that.

I do appreciate all the concern.

And Hutch...I'm outliving ALL of you. So let's talk about who is willing their colony to whom? ;-)

Actually if I did kick it, the exec of my non-existent estate is directed to adopt the clan temporarily and then to find a new home from them through GC. Not craigslist or some High School--GC.

I'm going to choke down these pills and fall into painkiller coma to the score to Last of the Mohicans.

Probably due to al the additional symptoms you described, they do have limits. So very glad you finally sought help.

You do you, but understand those who care will encourage safer choices. I can't speak for others, but I wasn't personally offended. Though, I'm still mailing Kimberly a 2x4 for your flat-spot, just to make sure the lesson sticks GC team, I petition a new screen name: 2Dog-1Leg should be made official.

Lichdom doesn't count. All messing aside: Get well soon, Dave!! Have Ms. Frisby make some soup for you.

Arch Lich...if you please. :-)

We tried the cooking thing.
They have ZERO common sense about fire, and once the pot and pans are out, everyone wants to run around the edges of the pans and look in, and they end up pooping in the pasta.

Nothin' says lovin' like poopins in the oven

I got some burger king so I don't have to cook for a couple days.

As a former auto mechanic, (hubby is a gearhead too) I charged double if an idiot tried to work on it himself before he brought it to me. And I know my limits.

I'm so glad you went to ER! We all wish you did it sooner, but in life we all live and learn.

Please keep us posted on your recovery. And get well soon. Do you have friends/family who can help you?

No.
Got rid of almost all my friends at the same time I got rid of my wife, and for the same reason.

Wow....these painkillers really work!

Rest of the fam is estranged, insane or dead.

OMG...I just realized...since the drugs started taking hold...that I have been in chronic debilitating pain for almost a month.
Ohhhhhhh. So good.
Wow I though I was going to go to sleep, but the sudden lack of pain has me energized.
And....
Strangely emotional...

Hutch what happened to you that you are in pain all the time? If you don't want to say I totally understand, but...curious.

A low-back injury related to a deployment (& general military life didn't help). I now have a disk that is mis-aligned, bulging, & very deteriorated (about 1/3 the proper size & shrinking every year). Due to the nature & location, docs don't want to do surgery until it actually causes impaired function or it gets to bone-on-bone.

Magnifying the issue is how the radiating pain & weakened joint causes the rest of my back to make up the difference. I've had professional massage parlors give me extra time (free) on the table becuase they felt so bad feeling how tightly knotted majority of my back becomes, not to mention the leg pain & regular headaches resulting from that strain.

I consider any day that starts with my pain level at only a 3/10 (defined as distracting, but able to do most normal activities) a GREAT morning. So, yeah, take care of yourself, man.

On a 45 foot fast-rope over a 35 foot drop? :-)

Do they send you into the hot zones? Sorry I have been curious for a long time. Are you a medic, or...what? I don't know.

Thank you for that by the way--for what you do for our country.

Hahaha.
Thanks. :-)

I could show you how to mine gold.
Funny. I launched this trip in November. Been in this Desert 5 months now and gotten to dig for like 2.5 days of that.

I know how to mine diamonds...

That will work too!
Lots of gems out here.
....allegedly...

You know, this thread now officially belongs in Glider Talk, and that's where I'm moving it ... because I can

your lucky that you didn't hit a artery or something ( cause nerve damage) I done my share of self medicate and patch jobs. I also have continuous back pain and leg issues but mine all due to Cerebral Palsy, Plus the fun fact I got married and lost my disablilty,Do it right learn your limits and don't push past them . ( or you will be like me and need a cane most days to walk semi upright or push a shopping cart just to get 3 or 4 items( Feather has seen me waddle around at the SGGA Take it easy and if your feeling act straighten up came site and prep for rough days so can be organized and not having to hurt yourself.

Thanks for saying that.

Depends on your definition of 'hot zone' I guess. Let's leave it as my life has been in danger, but rarely (thankfully).

My primary job is medical maintenance where I repair hospital equipment (like all of it) & sometimes the infrastructure itself. I've received additional medical training to support in the field emergency triage... but I'd recommend calling a professional, not me.

That also doesn't cover the many 'additional duties' that we military types always get tagged with that can be surprisingly varied... like reviewing mishap reports at my last base.

Hutch, you are being modest... The responsibility of your rank is huge. And you've stuck it out...
Air Force is tough to be awarded next rank.

Oh, how are you feeling today Comrade?

Good news I hope...

Dawn hey...
Not great. Been worse. Definitely been better.
Gotta check messages and see what the lab tests said.
Based on those results I will know if I need to go back to the hospital or if I can keep going with their currently proscribed plan.
It's a question of whether or not the antibiotics are working.
From where I am sittin' now it looks like the pain pills are working, but the antibiotics not so much. I really expected some more dramatic results. Not shopping for peg legs yet though.

The real suffering here is my gliders.
With me being on my back all day and bored out of my mind, I have been putting them to work hard.

"[censored]? Daddy Tree it's 3 in the afternoon!"
"SNUGGLE DAMN YOU!!!"

You know...in my long library of injuries, it occurs to me that I have never had a major infection until now. Sucks. :-(

If they have to chop it off, I will tell you you were right about everything--then hobble off stating that I 'Stand by it". (maybe with a little lean to one side.)

Maybe new dishes for crow on the horizon.